What Happens When the Spiritual Path Takes an Unexpected Turn?
What if the peace you have spent years searching for has been closer than you realized?
In this episode of Your Radical Truth, Deacon Margaret Mary O’Connor welcomes Paldrom Catharine Collins, author of Girl in a Box: Seeking Enlightenment as a Tibetan Buddhist Nun. Their conversation explores the longing for spiritual connection, the demands of monastic life, and the willingness to question a path that once seemed to hold every answer.
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Raised in the Southern Baptist tradition, Paldrom left Christianity as a young woman in search of enlightenment. That search led her into Tibetan Buddhism,
where she spent five years immersed in monastic life and retreat practice. She hoped that intensive meditation would free her from suffering. What unfolded was a more complicated, deeply human experience.
Learning Stillness Through the Body
For anyone who has tried to meditate and become frustrated by a wandering mind, Paldrom offers a relatable starting point: she struggled, too.
She describes the physically demanding practice of prostrations, repeated full-body movements accompanied by prayer and visualization. These practices helped her develop the ability to notice distraction and return to the present.
Her account also acknowledges the physical toll she experienced. Today, walking and strength training are among the ways she brings awareness back to her body and everyday life.
The Box as Both Shelter and Limitation
The title Girl in a Box refers to an actual meditation box used during retreat. But it also raises a larger question: What are the beliefs, communities, and systems that contain our lives?
Paldrom does not dismiss those structures. A spiritual community can provide support, direction, and a sense of belonging. Her experience invites listeners to consider when a structure supports growth and when it becomes too restrictive.
Leaving monastic life did not erase what she had learned. She remains grateful for the experiences that shaped her, even as her spiritual life has changed.
When Spiritual Authority Needs to Be Questioned
One of the conversation’s most revealing moments concerns Paldrom’s decision to leave and the response she received from her teacher.
She reflects on how someone can offer meaningful guidance while also having significant blind spots. Deep conviction in a spiritual system can make a person less willing to recognize another person’s needs.
For Paldrom, the lesson extends beyond religion. Remaining open to criticism and willing to examine our own certainty matters whenever we hold influence over others.
A Wandering Mind Does Not Mean You Are Failing
Paldrom offers a reassuring perspective on meditation: noticing thoughts and returning to the present is the practice.
The goal is not to punish yourself for thinking or force every thought to disappear. Instead, she encourages a gentler relationship with the mind, allowing space to observe what arises without becoming consumed by it.
Finding Home in Ordinary Life
Throughout the conversation, Paldrom draws connections between Buddhist practice and contemplative Christianity, particularly around compassion, presence, and connection with the divine.
Her story invites listeners to explore a possibility: spiritual growth may involve recognizing what is already here, within the ordinary experience of being human.
Listen to Episode 059 at www.YourRadicalTruth.com/059-Paldrom.
About Paldrom
Paldrom Catharine Collins is an author, spiritual director, and former Tibetan Buddhist nun whose life reflects a deep search for truth, belonging, and spiritual freedom. Raised in Oklahoma in the Baptist tradition, her journey led her into Tibetan Buddhist monastic life and, later, beyond its structure to explore a more personal understanding of faith and being human.
In her memoir, Girl in a Box: Seeking Enlightenment as a Tibetan Buddhist Nun, she candidly shares the beauty, challenges, and disillusionment of her spiritual quest. Through her writing and spiritual direction, Paldrom invites others to explore their deepest questions, move beyond idealized notions of enlightenment, and discover meaning and connection in ordinary life. Her work brings compassion and honesty to the complexities of devotion, self-discovery, and learning to trust one’s own experience.
About Deacon Margaret Mary O’Connor
Deacon Margaret Mary O’Connor, a member of the Catholic laity, once believed she understood her Church and its teachings. Everything changed the day she uncovered a centuries old scandal of lies and institutional cover up surrounding the history of women in ordained ministry. Realizing that her own Church had hidden the truth about women priests, women deacons, and even women bishops, she felt a deep and unforgettable sense of betrayal.
That moment became the catalyst for her mission. Margaret Mary now travels what she calls the Highway of Radical Truth, exposing the layers of deception that
have kept millions of Catholics unaware of the prominent roles women held in early Church history. Her work challenges long held assumptions, confronts the complicity of the hierarchy, and calls Catholics to learn the real history for themselves.
For Margaret Mary, every Catholic deserves the truth. She believes transparency is not optional, especially when the suppression of women’s vocations continues to harm the Church today. Her research shines a spotlight on hidden historical records that may even hold answers to the modern priest shortage.
Often described as a “Modern Day David,” Margaret Mary is relentless in her commitment to revealing what has been intentionally concealed. Through her well researched writings, public advocacy, and ministry within the Celtic Christian Church, she brings these buried truths to light.
She is the author of Scandal in the Shadows and Journey of a Celiac’s Soul, and remains a force for honesty, courage, and reform within the broader Catholic conversation.
